I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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