peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
