I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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