He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
