it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
