what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
