So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
