Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
