I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
