Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
