you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
