I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
