he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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