so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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