My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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