First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
