i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
