I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
