I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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