Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
