margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
