I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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