from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
