You can't special order awesome
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
