Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
