hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
