Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
