If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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