clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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