So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
