I think i peed on brittanys purse
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
