i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
