Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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