"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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