You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
