I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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