I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i dont even know how to be here
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
