hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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