I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
