i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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