just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
