My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
