There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
