I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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