i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
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