Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
