I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
