sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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