Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
