Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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