what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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