It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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